christmas

it's not as it was before... probably wont ever be... it hasn't been for long... it wouldn't be ever... again...

we had dinner early at 9pm compared to the long wait that we endure til 12midnight. everyone would be hungry waiting to be fed... mom would be cooking and the kitchen would be off limits... the kids would be all over the house, or cramped in the couch watching all sorts of chrstmas specials... but tonight we ate at 9... gave gifts shorltly after and then went on with our lives...

where has the spirit gone? are we all too old for christmas? is there an age limit to enjoy christmas?

and as if it wasn't enough, my dad rose from his sleep and started screaming: "why didn't you wake me up? asan na ang pagkain ko?" that was enough trigger to keep my mom going... like a set of cards, what was left of our christmas dream cascaded into oblivion... mom started screaming as well and as their voices rose i tried my best to concentrate on my "text twist" game.

i hate christmas... i hate everything about it... i hate my family... i hate my life...