in trepidation

IN TREPIDATION

right now i dunno what's more scary... to fail in matters of the heart or to fail in matters that should govern my life... should these two entities be separated though? i mean, i know love is such a trivial matter but then is it not of equal footing with my chosen career? in fact i live solely to love and chosing a career is but an additive... God created me first to "go and multiply" didn't He? It wasn't really a requisite to work and slave... I am Eve... I should merely bear child birth, ADAM should do hardwork.

Anyway, life nowadays dont really care much about that... "masyado daw mahal bilihin"... hahahaha!

right now i am 2weeks into the final (well right now it seems as if its is the final stage) evaluation of my existence for the past 4 years in CEU College of Dentistry... my long feared day is but 2 weeks from me... and amongst all the panic and piles of books... instead of occupying myself merely with words and terms that i have to remember and engulf completely, i am also inundated by matters that have come just out of proportion... "wrong timing kung baga".

i had set up for myself a time table to be able to accomplish everything... and all my attempts were in vain for along with it i had to insert momentous crying... analyzing details... putting fragments of details into a whole picture.

i didn't need this. not now. i didn't need all these...

nevertheless, God has been with me... and through it all He has kept me strong... and now barely ready I call on to PRC, ANGEL, LEE, CEU and whoever looks at me condescendingly and say: "bring it on bitch!"

Cus if there's one thing I've learned for the past weeks, it is that: "God is with me and for me right now"

Let His WILL be done!