OUR STORM

OUR STORM

i thought when i got the news id be the happiest person in the world...

i guess i counted my chickens too early, most of them got crushed...

now half of my dreams remain as fragments untraceble in thin air

i imagined it many times in my mind, played it over and over in my head...

but last week, when manila bulletin posted the list of new dentists and I did not find bon's name, tears came out of control and loneliness wrapped my body in whole.

i spent the next 24 hours after that soaked in my salty tears... my sobbing faint in exhaustion... my eyes that used to be an entire cavity that held my eyeballs in place, merely a slit. it felt like the skies have collided against me and i asked God over and over "why?"

who would've have thought the roads of nagtahan would be peaceful enough to communicate truths to me? i was driving home after being with Bon that day when i realized suddenly how great the Lord truly is...

For the 2 years that I have been with Bon I have asked constantly for God to teach Bon to be meek and all those times I have tried to bring him down from where he stood mightily, but failed a dozen of times. I longed to touch his heart, I longed to tame the man...

Manila Bulletin silenced him... God touched his heart in a way i did not ever imagine...

When you look at things sometimes its difficult to understand how the Lord chooses to make our wishes come true... we focus on the physical. the number of hankies soaked in tears, the pain, the loneliness... we often forget that we merely are actors playing the script God has written thousands of years before us... that we are in no power to alter history and change the course of life.

Everything happened for a reason. However painful, this was part of his plan... and perhaps soon, there will be a rainbow...

and the storm will stop.