love

what hurts with loving they say is loving in isolation...

loving someone intensely but not being loved back.

yet when i think of it... if one can blatantly reject you to your face then you have all the reason to pick yourself up and leave... move on... but if you love someone, and everyday you ask yourself: "does he really love me"... dont you think that hurts more?

everyday i ask myself that... everyday i wake up looking for a hand to grasp hold of... i'm frightened to look away, cus i might lose him. frightened to close my eyes cus it might be over when i open. like a fireworks display in the sky, set off for a magnificent show that gives ephemeral happiness... if you close your eyes, you'll miss it and all your investment goes down the drain...

when will i ever learn to trust again??? 11months and i here i am again...