my dad's oath taking...

today had a potential to be a disaster... but the skies opened and God said: "Crickette, dont give up too soon honey!"

I woke up at 4:45 to my dad's hard thumpin' on my door... on the other end i heard him calling for me to wake up so I rose from my bed, opened the door and told him I was awake. that shut him up and i took a cold shower, fighting the stings of freezing cold water on my skin. after that, i probably spent a few minutes skipping around my room naked before i realized i had to rush so i dried my hair, and started dressing... at that time, pot went into my room and i asked her to help me with the bow at the back of my dress...

DAD: may memo na binigay... no one's allowed to wear sleeveless!

i looked down my dress and asked myself... is a tube dress sleeveless????

i couldn't believe it! the day i bought the dress i was strutting around the house infront of my dad asking if I looked okay and he didn't tell me anything about a dress code? plus i've been to malcanang before... and there is no such dress code!!! so fuck it, i opened my cabinet and forced myself to wear something else... put on my make-up and rode the starex... furious.

now, that could be forgotten easily... but when we got to Villamor for the AIRFORCE assembly breakfast only a small percentage of the population had sleeves wrapping their arms!!! Oh I hate my dad!!! But wait, my story does not end there... My mom called Sarge Chris and he sped off from Camp Aguinaldo to Villamor with my dress and I immediately transformed... like Cinderella that night of the BALL. HA!!!

Nothing important happened after that... just saw GMA and shook hands with her... and we went home happy for our dad... the incident about the dress totally eradicated from my memory... we were stuffed from lunch at the club house so I turned this computer on and started editing annalyn's first attempt to direct a film (on heimlech maneuver).

very very busy...

i have not been exhausted as i am right now...no proper sleep, eyes wanting to close every second, bones aching, head screaming in pain.

CLINIC

i have finished all my clinic 3 requirements (now waiting for my orange "cartolina"). i didnt even expect to finish RESTO last thursday... i was expecting to finish it later... but to my surprise i got out of the O.D. section, with a patient approved for 2 Class Vs its to amazing... so whilst with menstruation stains on my pants and lab gown I happily closed all remaining sections...

DSC

last week had been too much for me to fathom, meeting deadlines at the students affairs office... making revisions for the recongnition day programme... the dental student council has been left behind for so long that now im struggling to make up for my loss... much to mr bean's delight of course!

last week i had this rather amusing altercation with the woman in TRITONE graphic arts who totally messed up with our certificates for the university recognition. she made everyone a "her" and all were DSC presidents... heck if thats the case then i should have much help then huh?

but anyway, after a depressing exchange of anger, they yielded... calling me hysterical and "talak ng talak" and printed all the certificates free of charge... well they had to anyway!!! but lessons have been learned that day... people in RECTO are stupid!!!

ACADEMICS

as usual, all classes have term reports to be done and all week i have been doing powerpoint presentations for every class. I think my eyes are too exhausted looking at transitions and backgrounds... reading through notes... if my eyes could scream i think it would...
i hate being busy... i hate responisbility!!! i hate it all!!! i hate it all!!!

stainless steel crown

IPAPO CAN DIE NOW!!!

I have no energy to blog tonight... i just have enough angst to express to the world my anger...
My group did not deserve that 3.0 she gave us for our stainless steel crown...
I swear... IPAPO, can die now!!!

he used to...

almost a year and u start counting the differences...
he used to take my socks off...
he used to write me love quotes...
he used to call me his princess...
he used to...
the list goes on...

why can't things be permanent?
why cant he take my socks off still?
or cook me lunch?
or run up and down the clinic for me?

i know he loves me but things sometimes change i guess...
less of this...
more of that...

i can't have it all i guess...
but i'm a girl... girls want it all!!!

lifeless

i used to say my greatest fear is not passing the board exams...
i realized there's something more grave than that...

last sunday my dad got a call from tita joji and he was told that my tito dindo (kidney surgeon) suffered an attack after a round of golf. what's amazing about this story is that, my tito, with his heart pounding violently, even managed to drive himself to heart center... only to meet death not even 24hours from when his heart took the magnificent leap...

the thought that he had a heart attack had not sunk in yet, and already we had to accept the fact that tito dindo was forever gone...

am i ready to die? sometimes you look at things from a distance and it doesn't seem ominous but when it's right in front of you... you can't even look at it. i'm scared of death... i'm scared of not living a full life... scared of leaving people behind... moreso, i'm scared of losing someone...

i wish life was more permanent...

99.5rt

dianne and i agreed to visit tita flor's wake together so we did, yesterday...
so anyway, we kinda timed ourselves... 30minutes... then it became an hour... we just sat there... waiting for our cue to leave... and we just did...
so difficult to go to wakes...

so anyway, we left the chapel and we got into the car on our way home when we heard SAM on the radio... Sam was formerly Rafiki in Magic 89.9 but he was pirated by 99.5rt and he's diannes friend from ateneo so we dropped by at the station and he made us go on air... i made bon listen and i said hi to him and arlene... super funny!!!

no words

have u ever
sat and stared
counting seconds til
u pop

have u ever
held a pen
so tightly
it may break

have u ever
had a day
when words
dont ever come

today i wished to write, but my spirit overcame me