Thursday, June 23, 2005

worth it all

WORTH IT ALL

"you dont fail to impress me"
it would have been nice if i heard it when Dr. Aguilar reached for my hand and shook it. Somehow, all the sleepless nights, the trickles of sweat, the shouts of pain, and days of relaxation lost to their slavery become worth it all.


yesterday's freshmen orientation went very well than i dreamt it to be. i came into the auditorium thinking that the sky was going to fall on me, but instead the sun shone brightly and I enjoyed every single minute just standing by the tech room giving everyone a proud
"thumbs up".


even the boutiful feast of KFC was worth it...



haay, sana nga all hardship show its worth in time... haaaaaay....

Sunday, June 19, 2005

school...

SCHOOL AGAIN
barely in school and already i feel very tired.
school started this tuesday and immediately im bombarded by many things... many tasks... let alone the regular load i have to endure as a graduating student. i'm so tired. i'm scared. i'm worried.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

COMPLAINT-AFFIDAVIT

I, MARIA CRISTINA R. INSERTO, of legal age, Filipino, single, presently residing at Nr 6 Regis St., Officers Row, Camp General Emilio Aguinaldo, Quezon City, after having been duly sworn to in accordance with law, do hereby depose and state, to wit:

1. That on or about 1100H 11 June 2005, while I was attending to my garage sale within the vicinity of the Barangay Hall, CGEA, Quezon City, two (2) MPs alighted/accosted me with no apparent reason;

2. That the MPs failed to make inquiry as to the status of my holding of the said garage sale and merely assumed that my holding of a garage sale in the abovementioned place was illegal and without permit;

3. That said MPs insisted that I immediately board the MP sidecar to be brought to the MP Batallion, which really embarrassed and humiliated me;

4. That I almost boarded the MP sidecar, however, I hesitated to do so and I conferred with my companion Miss Elizabeth Marie L. Rivera (daughter of Ret Col Alfonso Rivera and former resident at Camacho Street) and decided to board my personal vehicle to proceed to the MP Batallion.

5. That at the MP Batallion I was initially interrogated by (2) PAF soldiers, whether I had a permit;

6. That the permit which I applied for at and obtained from the Barangay Chairman was not recognized by the said MPs;

7. That only then was I asked where I lived and who was I a dependent of, at which I replied that I was the daughter of MGen Pedro Ike Inserto PAF;

8. That when they found out that my father’s driver/security was about to make a call to my father at that particular moment, did they request him not to call my father anymore and to just “settle the matter and file my statement for their records.”;

9. That I was told to make a statement but was only asked for my name and nothing further to put on record;

10. That during the investigation, I explained to the MPs that I was given permission by the Barangay Captain to hold the garage sale in the abovementioned place;

11. That prior to the holding of the said garage sale I personally applied for the permit and completed all the requirements a week prior, as what I have done in December 2000;

12. That I was belatedly informed by the said MPs during the later portion of the investigation that what is required is not a barangay permit but a permit from the Camp Commander;

13. That it was only then that I became aware of such requirement since I first held a garage sale December 2000;

14. That have I known of the said requirement, I would have dutifully complied to the same as what I did in obtaining the barangay permit and that the garage sale items merely consisted of my personal clothing for disposal;

15. That upon conclusion of the investigation, my father’s driver/security requested for the names of the two PAF soldiers who investigated me. Then I heard one of the MP (PFC Alvin E Albao 800724 PA) arrogantly uttering the words: “Sige, isama mo pangalan ko diyan para makita ng general na yan ang pangalan ko, bigyan pa ako ng pera”;

16. That I am executing this instrument to attest to the truthfulness of the foregoing and to seek redress for the humiliation my companion and I received and the arrogant actuation displayed by the said MPs against me and for them to be sanctioned for said behavior. I applied for the permit from the barangay unaware that a new rule was observed in Camp. Had they been efficient in the dissemination of the rules, and if the Barangay Captain had told me, then I would have responsibly secured a permit from the HSC.



AFFIANT FURTHER SAYETH NAUGHT.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I hereby affix my signature this 15th day of June 2005, in Quezon City.



____________________________
MARIA CRISTINA R. INSERTO
Complainant/Affiant

Saturday, June 11, 2005

on going out

ON GOING OUT


sometimes i wish i had all the answers in the world...
the main reason i refused to commit to a relationship was my fear of the inevitable despair... but i have plunged and however carefully i try to shield myself from it, tears come down...


what i liked most about being single was my indispensible time... my freedom... my right to liberation and the perpetual invitation to parties and fun... cus somehow, once your status switches from single to "in a relationship" the book closes... the spotlights focus somewhere else... and all the freedom's, gone...


i am not a slave... but that's how society is, and i probably am weak so i succomb to it. there is this call to domestication. when ur no longer available... its really harder to party. i know not all women are like me and that people will say, "kasalanan mo yan" but that's how i am... i lose the zest for fun and excitement... and get content with simply being at home... perhaps if i knew how to knit, i would be working the threads... haha! but since i dont i have converted into a bonafide couch potato and have burried myself in notes and books that needed to be read. that's how i am... that's what i become.


so although Bon knew me as the "gimmickera" i was before, it wasn't very long before my gimmick clothes came to no use... and gimmick nights became to movie date nights with him... it was the inevitable... i didn't complain much...


but then sometimes, like now... i feel the urge to go out... the poor soul trapped for months seem to want to burst from within me and though it is not a wild urge or exaggerated feasting, i do want to be part of the noisy scene outside too... want to dance til i drop... want to drink til im too drunk to remember a thing... there is perhaps a limit to domestication... ive reached my threshold... it can't go further than that...


"its not that idont want you to go out? but thats too much!"
what is too much though?
i hardly go out... all the time we were together i could count the few times i've been out... and now that i've been out every week he thinks he's losing me?


damn!

Thursday, June 02, 2005

a lot like love

A LOT LIKE LOVE


i still believe in love.
many people dont these days.
saying that their fast paced life need not be acessorized further by the little trinkets that relationship brings to a person. eye bags from crying all night. absent-mindedness. paranoaia. emotion sometimes can be so overpowering that people become paralyzed.



i have been paralyzed by love many times. hindered to do things. but i too, have spent nights empty... nights of over-flowing booze... a litany of sins on my black book... being single was great. kissing a guy and not feeling guilty about it. creeping late into my bed and not feeling any tinge of remorse.



"why are you single?" ive been asked before and i remember lying everytime: "i just love being single. the freedom. just being able to do everything. and i haven't found the right guy yet"that was a lie. cus even in my wild nights... i really did not look merely for mister kissable lips... i wanted more than that. something a lot like love...



i know people still look for love... and until film makers dont stop making films that would make your heart tear... people will be looking and will be wanting love...